1. Start a conversation
Inform your friend that you are available to them. You can initiate the discussion by expressing your worries and posing a certain query.
You may say, for instance:
"It looks like you've been going through a difficult period lately." What are your thoughts?
"You appeared somewhat depressed during our recent hangout sessions." Do you have anything on your mind that you'd want to discuss?
"I understand you've been through some difficult times lately. How are you feeling about everything?"
Remember that although your friend might want to talk about their feelings, it's possible that they don't want advice.
Use skills for active listening to engage with your friend.
Ask questions to learn more, rather than taking someone's meaning for granted.
Confirm their emotions. That sounds incredibly difficult, you would think. I regret learning that.
Display curiosity and empathy through your body language.
It can be helpful to keep showing your friend that you care, even though they may not feel like chatting when you first ask.
Continue to voice your concerns and pose open-ended questions without becoming confrontational. Make an effort to speak with people face-to-face whenever you can. Try video chat if you live in separate places.
2. Assist them in locating assistance.
It's possible that your friend is unaware that they are experiencing depression or doesn't know how to ask for help. Finding a therapist and scheduling an appointment can be intimidating, even for those who are aware that treatment may be helpful. Offer to assist your friend in researching possible therapists if they are interested in counselling. Your friend can make a list of questions to pose to possible therapists and items to bring up during their initial consultation with you.
If they are struggling, it can be quite beneficial to assist and encourage them to schedule that initial visit.
3. Encourage them to continue receiving therapy.
Your friend may not feel like leaving the house on a terrible day. Depression can sap your energy and make you want to isolate yourself from other people.
Encourage them to continue if they say something like, "I think I'm going to cancel my therapy appointment."
One could respond, "You mentioned last week that your session was quite effective and that you felt much better afterward. What if the lesson today is also beneficial?
Medication is no exception. Encourage your friend to speak with their psychiatrist about changing to a different antidepressant or quitting medication altogether if they wish to stop taking their medication due to bad side effects.
Without a doctor's guidance, discontinuing antidepressants suddenly might have dangerous repercussions. Generally speaking, talking to a doctor before stopping prescription use can help you avoid health problems.
4. Take care of yourself
It's easy to want to give up everything to be by someone's side and support them when you care about them despite their despair. While wanting to support a buddy is not always incorrect, it's as critical to look after your own needs.
You won't have much time for yourself if you devote all of your attention to helping your friend. Additionally, you won't be able to assist your friend very much if you're feeling overwhelmed or angry.
Establish limits
Boundaries can be helpful. For instance, you could inform your friend that you're available for a conversation only after you arrive home from work.
If you're worried that they won't feel like they can get in touch with you, offer to assist them in creating a backup plan in case they need you while you're at work. This could be figuring out a hotline they can contact or creating a code word that will allow them to SMS you in an emergency.
Rather than trying to help every day, you may offer to come over every other day or deliver dinner twice a week. Including more friends in the process can help build a larger support system.
Take care of yourself.
It can be emotionally taxing to spend a lot of time with a loved one who is depressed. Recognise when to stop experiencing intense feelings, and remember to give yourself time to recover.
Saying, "I can't talk until X time" is one way to inform a friend that you won't be available for a long time. When may I check in with you?
5. Conduct your own research on depression.
Imagine having to repeatedly explain to everyone in your life what physical or mental health ailment you are dealing with. It sounds like a lot of work, don't you think?
You can discuss your friend's particular symptoms or emotional state with them, but do not ask them to discuss depression in general terms.
Do some independent research on the signs, causes, diagnosis standards, and therapies.
Even though everyone's experience with depression is unique, knowing the basic signs and vocabulary will enable you to have more in-depth discussions with your friend.
6. Offer to assist with day-to-day tasks.
Daily duties can feel burdensome when you are depressed. When household chores like laundry, food shopping, and bill paying accumulate, it can be difficult to know where to begin.
Although your friend might be grateful for your offer of assistance, it's possible that they can't express exactly what they need assistance with.
So, consider asking, "What do you most need help with today?" rather than, "Let me know if there's anything I can do."
Ask your friend to come over, put on some music, and work on a specific task together if they are behind on laundry, dishwashing, or other domestic chores. Having someone to work with can make the task appear less intimidating.
7. Extend loose invitations
Individuals who are depressed may find it difficult to make or maintain plans and to reach out to others. However, postponing plans may increase guilt.
A trend of postponed events could result in fewer invites, which might heighten feelings of loneliness. Depression may get worse as a result of these emotions.
Even if you know your friend won't accept your invitations to events, you can still reassure them by sending them out. Inform them that you recognise that during difficult times, they might not be able to keep to their plans and that you won't urge them to stay until they're ready.
Simply let them know that you're delighted to visit them whenever it suits them.
8. Exercise patience
Treatment for depression typically results in improvements, but the process might be sluggish and require some trial and error. Before they discover a medicine or counselling strategy that relieves their symptoms, they might need to try a few different ones.
Even with effective treatment, depression may not always completely go away. Your friend could occasionally still experience symptoms.
They will undoubtedly have good days and bad days in the interim. If your friend has a run of bad days and it seems like they will never get better, try not to assume that they are "cured" and don't get upset.
There is no set timeframe for healing from depression. It won't benefit either of you if you anticipate that your friend will become the same person they were before a few weeks of therapy.
9. Keep in communication
It can be supportive to let your buddy know that you are still here for them as they fight through their sadness.
Check in with them frequently via text, phone call, or brief visit, even if you can't spend a lot of time with them. It can be helpful to just text someone to let them know you're thinking of them and that you care.
You could find yourself having to put in more effort to keep up the friendship because people who are depressed tend to withdraw more and refrain from reaching out. Even though your friend isn't able to tell you this right now, your continued presence and encouragement could mean the world to them.
10. Understand the various forms that depression can take.
Although melancholy or a low mood are common symptoms of depression, there are other, less common symptoms as well. For instance, a lot of individuals are unaware that sadness can cause:
agitation and hostility.
Bewilderment, memory issues, or difficulty concentrating
Prolonged exhaustion or issues with sleeping
Physical manifestations, including upset stomach, recurrent headaches, or discomfort in the back and other muscles
Your companion may frequently appear to be unhappy or worn out all the time. Even if what they're experiencing doesn't fall into the traditional definitions of depression, try to remember that it's still a part of depression.
Saying "I'm sorry you're feeling this way" is enough to make people feel better, even if you have no idea how to assist them. "I'm here to help if I can" could be beneficial.
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